I'm sure everyone has had the pleasure of speaking to a tech support hotline. You know the sort, outsourced call centre, expensive number, person on the other end who has no idea what they're doing... Yeah. I avoid them wherever possible.
This weekend, I was dealing with a relative's troublesome internet - ever since moving house, they had been unable to get online even though the ISP promised they had changed the phone number and address and whatnot over a month ago. I fiddled all the usual settings, routers, firewalls, passwords, etc., but to no avail. I had little other choice than to ring them up to ask what was up. I was a bit unsure about one of the settings, as it was set to PPPoA on this router but my own one uses a PPPoE connection so I wondered whether this was correct. I'd tried both but they hadn't worked, but there were also other fiddly bits I might have forgotten. Sooo, I decided to brave the call centre and ask them.
Support guy (with thick accent): Hello, you are through to [ISP] support, my name is [name], how may I help you today.
Me: Hi, I'm just having a bit of an issue connecting to your service. I've checked all the settings on my end and they are all correct, so I was wondering if you could help.
Him: Ok ma'am. Can you open up the Internet Explorer.1
Me: ... um, ok.
Him: Go to white box at the top. Delete text. Type [router IP].
Me: Ok, I've already done that and I've checked all the settings there, they are all fine. There was one thing I was a bit unsure about though - do you use the PPPoA setting or PPPoE?
Him: *Long pause* No, you take CD out. Type in the Internet Explorer.
Me: CD? No, I asked about connection types. Is it PPP-
Him: *Interrupting* Ma'am, no CD. Take CD out.
Me: ...
Him: No CD.
Me: I'm not using a CD, I-
Him: *Interrupting* Type in the Internet Explorer, [router IP].
Me: ... yeah.
Him: Type in the Internet-
Me: I've done that.
Him: What do you see.
Me: I've already logged in. I checked-
Him: *Interrupting again* Type in the Internet Explorer-
Me: I'VE. DONE. THAT.
Him: What do you see.
Me: It is showing me the settings.2
Him: You type username, password, it is [username] and [password].
Me: Yeah.
It carried on like that for several minutes, him just ignoring everything I was saying. He asked me to confirm the phone number on the account, put me on hold, then came back.
Him: Ma'am you reboot now.
Me: What?
Him: You reboot, it work now.
Me: I rebooted before, it didn't help.
Him: No, you reboot, it work now.
Me: ...
Him: You reboot?
Me: Yeah yeah, it rebooted.3
Him: It work now.
Me: No.
Him: Reboot.
Me: Again?
Him: Reboot, it work.
Me: I'm trying it on another computer right now, this one doesn't work either.
Him: Reboot please ma'am.
Me: I don't see how that's going to help.
Him: It should work, you reboot.
Me: Yeah well, it's not working.
Him: Reboot the Internet Explorer, it work now.
Me: No, it really doesn't.
Him: Reboot, it work when you reboot.
Me: Yeah. Doesn't though.
Him: Reboot again, til it work.
Me: *Hangs up*
And guess what? 10 minutes later, everything worked. And no, I didn't reboot. A reboot won't fix a connection issue unless it was a problem with the computer, and it wasn't. Stupid ISP hadn't switched the phone number over and had the cheek to try and make me think they 'magically' fixed things by trying to buy time by making me reboot. Yeah, I don't think so somehow.
——
1 And what if I don't want to use Internet Explorer? ^
2 Humouring him now ^
3 It hadn't. ^
Rachael
27/05/2008 at 22:54
LMAO! Poor Amelie. At least it's working now. I have a similar thing when I talk to our IT dept. He tells me how to open up the run cmd thingy every time... I only need telling once!
On the plus side, I called BT today, I spoke to an Englishman, and someone called me back in ten minutes!
Nellie
27/05/2008 at 23:14
I always make my boyfriend call tech support if our internet goes down because I have absolutely no patience for tech support people treating me like I'm a computer n00b.
Luckily here in NZ, the call centres are usually not outsourced and free to call :).
Veronica
27/05/2008 at 23:18
I hate calling support hotlines for help. Sometime last year a friend bought me a shirt from Jinx and they sent me a male size small, when I called them to explain the order was wrong and that it should have been a women's small he told me to check the tag and tell him where it said it was made at. I told him and all he said was "all of the women's shirts are from that location" and then told me bye. I compared it to another shirt I have of theres (the real women's small, which also had a different country listed for where it was made at) and the one they sent me was so huge - I was so pissed. If anything, I got a new pj shirt ...
I hate when people assume that just by rebooting your computer it will fix any problem you are having, of course sometimes it works but not always.
Vera
28/05/2008 at 4:53
This sounds extremely familiar... my favorite part is when I say "I also tried ipconfig/release and ipconfig/renew" Them:"Errr... yeah... reset the modem and router please."
At least it all works now. :)
Matt
28/05/2008 at 7:57
Sounds as bad as Telstra... except Telstra owns about 80% of all the lines here so you can't get away from them!
Riitta
28/05/2008 at 10:33
Wow. Just.. wow. Congrats on putting up with him for that long, I probably would've hanged up way earlier. Even reading the transcript made me so. pissed. off! >:O
valerie
28/05/2008 at 16:54
This is exactly what I went through a few weeks ago with my broken internet. I kept asking about the gateway, too, and they kept denying that could be the problem. Guess what? It was. I had to get a new one.
Once, I had a tech guy tell me to restart the computer and I did and I said, "still same thing" (my motherboard was dead and I knew it, I just needed them to send me another). And what did he say? "No, you just turned off the monitor, I need you to restart the computer by..." I got pretty mad with that one. That guy treated me worse than any other tech, like I was a monkey or something. :P
Ally
28/05/2008 at 21:03
Congratulations on actually being able to put up with him for the amount of time you did. Those people drive me insane - why transfer you to tech support thousands of miles away on the opposite side of the planet to someone who really does not know what they're talking about, when you could at least talk to a local tech support who at least knows how to speak good English?
I've experienced that a couple of times, and I've had enough of it. The way he was talking to you made it sound like he was accusing you of being a complete idiot, not understanding his instructions. That's a bit hypocritical there, buddy...
Louise
29/05/2008 at 0:20
Complain to the company or consumer affairs (or whatever it is). Everyone needs to complain about these things.
Even if it doesn't make a difference, companies should listen to the people using their services - Treat you like an human being - If not, then they shouldn't be dealing with intelligent life forms.
I highly doubt all people using ISPs are morons anyway.
Melissa
30/05/2008 at 19:39
WOW... "you take the CD out"...rofl! XD Poor you...I would have screamed in frustration after a few minutes. XD
Annie
31/05/2008 at 13:14
Like you I try to avoid call lines as much as I can. All the power to you though for staying on the phone as long as you did.
Holly
3/06/2008 at 10:26
LMFAO oh dear! I think I would have hung up long before you did!